Warning: Keep this in mind if you are going to marry a tattoo artist!
February 7th, 2010 by campblsoupgrl
from DeviantArt.com
Editor’s Note: I took this off the MySpace page of a CDA tattoo artist and it couldn’t be more true. I had to modify/edit just a bit and I’m sure I could add about 150 more items to this list but, as an artist’s wife, I don’t have the time. 
1. You will never be as close to him as his machines.
2. When you’re in your bathing suit and he looks at you, he isn’t looking at you, he’s looking at the recent piece he did on you to see how well it healed up.
3. You could be in the middle of telling him you may be pregnant, and if UPS just dropped of the new Kingpin (Supply) order, forget it you just lost all his attention.
4. He will ask you why you chose to blend those two color of eye shadows together, and then he’ll tell you that you need more pink to blend it out.
5. You will never be able to talk about one subject other than tattoos for longer than 75 seconds. So if you had a shitty day you better hope your best girlfriends are good listeners or your talk will end real quick.
6. When he gets that far off look in his eyes, it only means he is wondering how his latest customer’s tattoo is healing. NOT day dreaming about when he first met you.
7. You will NEVER vacation the same again. Your vacations will now consist of what convention or what city he will be working in. You should be excited for 5 days away by yourself while he is working. Who wouldn’t be? (Erin’s comments: ALSO don’t plan on flying to the convention if it’s within a 2 day’s driving distance. There will always be “too much to take on a plane” and will have to sit in a car for 4 solid days getting to and from the convention.)
8. If the ink for the printer runs out, your day will be horrible.
9. He doesn’t know how to fix the garage door, but he can build a machine out of old parts from your broken garage door.
10. Learn that this lifestyle is now yours. Remember you said “’till death do us part.”
11. You will now be a professional massage therapist. He will always be in pain and never let you hear the end of it.
12. Are you the jealous type? You better get over it. Women will throw themselves at him, and not even have enough respect to wait for you to leave the room. (It’s true! )
) 13. He will speak in a secret language that may take you years to understand. Just 3 examples:
a. scratcher gray
b. 9 round shader
c. blood lines
Start learning now or you will be left out of every one of his conversations.
a. scratcher gray
b. 9 round shader
c. blood lines
Start learning now or you will be left out of every one of his conversations.
14. DO NOT call him when he is in the middle of his next master piece (or if he just received the pigments he waited 3 months for) to tell him the baby just flushed herself half way down the toilet. I promise he will respond with “This couldn’t have waited?”
15. If he had to do a walk-in Amy Brown fairy you will not be getting sex that night.
16. He can’t go one day without tattooing. So remember, during the holidays he will be moody because he would rather be at the shop tuning his machine rather than eating turkey.
17. Last be ready for the ride of your life because being married to a tattoo artist with all of its ups and downs is by far one of the most amazing rides you will ever take in your life.
Posted in CDA, Holiday, Lucky, Tattoo Love
June 14th, 2010 at 3:47 am
I think Kate v D is the greatest tattoo artist in the world, I really love her tattoos.
June 23rd, 2010 at 7:45 am
This is so funny & becoming so true in my life….
I tattoo on myself – this way I can always be tattooing – and believe me – my wife isn’t to happy when she comes home and I look like a mummy because I have both legs & arms wrapped in bandages….
I could fix the garage door – but why waste all those great parts?